Kosambari of emotions

As I am starting to write this blog, I am unsure if I will ever publish it. For one, I don't want to attract reactions and responses! Lets see, I will type the whole darn thing and then think if I should publish or not!

I think of my life often, What am I doing? What will I do? Will I do what I think I will? I am sure people ask such questions to themselves often. And often the answers are positive! I have a hundred things on my to-do list for life. Starting from the next "world famous" adaptive algorithm to world travel; from heading a non-governmental organization (NGO) to doctoral degree in Sanskrith and Indian philosophy.

Yesterday was one such day, I ended up in a such a thought whirlpool. I don't know why the evening turned out to be so! It was a usual day with bit of reading on phd dissertation ideas, preparation for preliminary exams, chitchat with Sharath over lunch and very ordinary day of badminton (except the last game with Alex, against Adhidharma and Sharath).

It was a funny feeling when I came "home" from the gym. What seemed to be a boring evening got worse as the evening progressed. Before I could notice, I was neck deep in a bad cocktail of emotions! And hence the title of the blog!

And the funny part of all was that there were tears in my eyes! What am I thinking! I dint know, I still don't know.  I signed out of all the silly things gtalk, facebook, all email clients, youtube, pandora! Hell, closed the browsers. I tried playing a couple of games. I switched on TV; I don't know what being shown on it, I don't even remember which channel it was tuned to.

I thought a lot, a lot! You are gonna curse me for this, but it was like running the "System Idle Process". It was taking 100% of my mind but running only "NOP (NOP is a "No Operation" instruction of Intel Processor family's assembly language) " instruction. Reminds me of Russel Peter's joke on "men can think nothing! see:

You get the point right! Doesn't matter what I was thinking, I am not gonna share it on a public blog. I owe that much to myself. What I will share with you is a dream on an other day. This is a snippet of my conversation with Sharath.

I wake up on this fine morning (which happens to be around 9am) and like look at sharath and say
"Sharath, naanu jeevanadalli enu f**ing phd, research madidroo, it's not worth missing out on mango and halasina hannu (Sharath, with no regards to what I do with f**ing phd and research, its not worth missing out on mango and jack-fruit)"! Well, what do you think, I had a wonderful (wasn't so wonderful after-all, I won't eat any this season!) dream that I was eating mango and jack-fruit.

Anyway, its time to close this blog and get on with other things. Reading back, I think I will publish this blog after-all. As a final note, I signed up for "Close Encounters MS Bike Ride Challenge 2011". As part of the challenge, I have pledged to raise at least 250$ and ride bike for 150miles over two days. My blog on biking has been zero for a while now, but I will have chance to update and upgrade the blog; if only Laramie weather is favorable!


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